What to do, what to do? Here I was back from an experience that left me wondering what 'that' was all about...! The only thing I knew was to 'get a job' - so I did in a department store....selling clothing. I felt as if ministry was just another job for some....that from what I had experienced throughout Bible college and now the Philippines - surely the days and ways the disciples lived were definitely over. I saw so many that were in the ministry for the money and living pride filled lives that I really wondered if anyone really meant it for God. Was there anyone that didn't 'play' church or was money hungry, or prideful or divided among themselves? Where was the real Church, was there one? Where were the people that would be willing to go through the Tribulation not bowing their knee to Baal? Where was the whole truth and nothing but the truth? How could Christ be divided - if all the denominations claimed Him, why - when He said the Spirit of Truth would lead us into all truth...why couldn't the truth be found in one spot; why some there, and then over there and then more over here? Being unsure of myself...I waited on God - I was bound and determined that Truth could be found and that to look to man was wrong...I had to wait on God.

I waited on God in the department store, still being a witness to those around me...but full of doubts about the 'Church'....of which there was one on every corner. My husband was hired six weeks later....at a Bible college...in the north...so there we went. Having a Bible college degree ....I wasn't prepared for anything except the mission field...so, I felt at the time. We ended up staying at this Bible college two years.....two of the driest years ....of my life. I could not believe how 'dead' the churches were...no life... We went to a small church where the pastor had just graduated from the Bible college. We were there for him more than he for us. It was a hard time....getting prepared for four solid years, now this....I had literally nothing to do that I would be interested in. I could have joined a 'ladies Bible study' or done a million other little things...for God...but somehow I didn't fit in that scene. I had 'seen' too much to be mulling over lessons on how to be a great wife and mother.

In the meantime my own mother was diagnosed with lung cancer. She called me in May and by August she had passed away. Yes, she was a born again Christian by that time....no one could understand what that was, the rest including friends rejected the truth and chose to hold on to 'traditions' of religion. Years later God gave me a dream in which I saw my mother...she was who she had been but very different and I cannot explain it....ageless I suppose is as close as I can get...there are no words or anything that we can connect to here to 'know'.

After being in the same location in the north for about a year....God spoke to 'go for a masters degree'. This seemed impossible for what would I go for a masters in with a mission/Christian education undergraduate? I visited a big university...after visiting a 'cheaper' one and getting the idea from them that because I had gone to a Bible college they didn't feel I could 'make it' at their college. The college I ended up going to was very helpful...and a prestigious one at that. Students graduate from there to become lawyers, nurses, teachers, and a host of other professions. I had to take a test to qualify - prayed that one through and was accepted...took out a loan and off to the university..all in one week. I went for a graduate degree in teaching....all I had to do was take the courses at graduate level that would prepare me for teacher and a student teaching practicum for six months. I had no idea what teachers really did, but I was about to embark on a teaching career that has lasted over twenty years now. Every year...God has had a special place and a group of people He wanted me to minister to while there.

Texas came to this university to 'recruit' teachers...and I signed up for an interview - this was in March....I asked God when I would know where I would be going and if I would be teaching that year..the state I was in had no problem getting teachers as there was more than one college graduating teachers in the area. God spoke to me and said, "You will know Aug. 6th."

Months passed and we were busy....and cold...I was glad to see spring...and then summer. I had practically forgotten what God had told me about Aug. 6th, I was so busy and on top of that sick.

It seems that as we try to follow God and do His will something will always try to hinder; with me it was a multiplicity of things or people. I will focus on things verse people because God is their judge and judge He will.

August 6th I had a doctors appointment, when I returned home that night as I walked in the door at 5:00 and my son said, "Mom, a principal called from _______,Texas and said if you wanted a teaching job to call him back, here's the number." I called and the principal was there by the time I hung up I had a position teaching 6th grade.

As the year went on I said nothing about God, this was a 'public class room'. I was busy learning how to teach and getting use to helping other teachers.... I seemed to have a knack at discipline, something a lot don't have right off or ever.

Everyone has the notion that they only place God uses missionaries is some exotic island or deep dark African jungle; not so.....to combat spiritual darkness He needs those 'trained to trust' right here in the United States.

I kept 'moving' around at the Lord's direction, the next school year I found myself in San Antonio, Texas..teaching a fifth grade class. Each year there was a 'reason' for me to be in a certain location. One reason this year...was a ten year old girl; she started to cry when God opened it up for me to 'witness' in class...when I say witness I mean ....all of a sudden the time is right and it is led into by a subject we are studying, I never 'planned' anything out; a time, nor a day. It was all God's doing. I was saying the Jesus was real...and a student put her head down on her desk and started crying and crying....I thought, "Now, I've done it what am I going to do and why is she crying so?" I went over to her and asked her why she was crying...she wouldn't answer at first...then she says, "Every night when I close my eyes I see the devil and I am scared." The thought came to me to tell her, "Just say - Jesus, Jesus, Jesus...next time."

The next day, she came in with a big smile on her face and she had drawn me a picture of Jesus... I still have it....on it she wrote. "Thank you Mrs._____." I knew she was set free...Later as she talked to me....her mother and grandmother were into terot card and palm reading..no wonder demonic spirits were haunting her. But, no more...there is power in the name of Jesus.

MKL